SEX and The City..

so i ventured out on Sunday evening to catch the new Sex and the City movie.. i wanted to see it.. chick flick and all.. i watched the show, so i wanted to see the ending.. more than that, i liked the show.. i'm man enough to state that.. so there i was, going to see this movie in a sea of NYC women and gay men.. and guys forced to go by their significant others..

the lead up was just as funny as the movie.. i mean, you saw groups of four women (majority white, but it was still a mixed crowd) seeming like they were trying to audition for a role in the movie.. dresses.. crazy outfits.. hair done up.. i was trying to figure out if the movie theater was where they would find one of the 2 L's that the movie spoke about.. if they knew what i knew, they wouldn't be..

then there were the gay dudes.. too qute.. i'm pretty much over my homophobia, so i feel more comfortable speaking about this.. we had to wait in this long line an hour before the movie began.. that wasn't working for me.. my ADD was kicking in.. stand in that long line? for an hour? with gay dudes and Carrie wanna-bes?? shoot, i can get caught!! somebody might see me! (only jokes, i ain't running from nobody but bill collectors).. yea, that scene wasn't working.. i snuck upstairs only to see another long line and the manager.. not a good look.. i played it off and went back downstairs to that long line..

2 Black gay dudes were in the front looking like they knew me.. we caught eyes, i immediately looked sideways and then back to them.. i gave them the head nod, they gave me one back.. i had to do my own lion stance and let them know that i was not the one.. i was searching for women to piss on.. (ok, that's gross and slightly disturbing, so i take that back).. i went back and stood in line.. sigh..

so then they let us upstairs.. no one said the people that work in theaters were geniuses.. so we get up there, only to run out of room.. the escalator was turned off, so ppl were just stuck standing on the escalator, as there was no more room in the lobby.. then the brilliant minimum wage dude tries to separate us into 2 lines that looked more like 6-8 depending on the angle you were standing in.. a mess.. i went to get something to drink..

as i'm down there, i do what i do best.. choose the wrong line to get in.. the people in front of me can't make up their minds, and the worker is the slowest on staff.. my ADD is going crazy.. where are my meds?? then this white chick behind me whispers something in my ear.. i have no clue what she says, so i halfway turn around and acknowledge her, ready to hit her with the "nah, i'm good" line.. she is dressed for the part.. i know she's going to see the movie too.. she says, "i'm sorry, but you have a string hanging off of your hat that i'm going to remove for you"..

what?

i was confused.. trying to figure out why she was staring at the loose string so hard that she wanted to remove it for me.. i smiled and said "thanks".. not sure what trap i was about to fall in, i wanted to be safe than sorry.. i've seen American History X, y'all ain't getting me that easy!! so, she proceeds to remove the string and then show me.. i smiled and said "cool, thanks".. all i was missing was "dude".. i ignored them as i waited another 10 minutes.. when i got my pop, i turned and said "thank you, have a good one".. she smiled..

back upstairs i went, and we were finally let in.. a mad rush to find seats.. i'm like "there are only maybe 30 people in front, why is everyone rushing to get seated in an 1000 seat place?".. but no one else is thinking like that.. so i get my spot, and i proceed to people watch.. i think there were about 589 four-somes.. yeah, my math is off.. chicks together.. what was most disturbing is the mothers that brought there kids.. are y'all crazy?? don't you know what type of movie this is?? SEX and the city.. why do you have infants and 6 year olds with you?? sex was all over the screen.. from scene 1 to 69.. it was there.. i saw it.. some of it i tried not to see..

pause..

movie directors, if you want to turn your movie into soft porn, please find more attractive white women for the job.. i did not need to see 50 year old women getting tapped out.. i still have not recovered from that..

un-pause..

some people do need parenting licenses.. i believe in that now.. y'all don't have no sense, and you definitely don't make any.. kids were crying and covering their eyes.. shoot, i was covering mine!! then i'm having to see Rico Suave onscreen fully naked.. i mean, for the gay dudes, i get it.. now i see why y'all were in there.. y'all must've bootlegged it before, and knew what was coming.. pause.. me? i was thinking that they were not allowed to show penises and grown men asses.. wasn't a good look for me.. then again, i wasn't the intended audience..

but, overall it was a good movie.. a nice ending.. could make and break your relationships, so be careful who you go with!! i don't want to give it away.. just be prepared to experience NYC like most of us never have, see places most of us would dream to see, and feel what it's like to be a 40+ white woman trying to find love and labels in NYC..

it was worth it.. gay dudes and all.. (i still want the rainbow back!!)