Not in Harlem..

so, yesterday i made my way to Bank of America to open up an account.. i can't stand banks.. none of them.. they all crooks.. been with Bank One, then Chase, then Wachovia, Chase again and now Bank of America.. they all the same.. but, i pretty much had a clean slate with Bank of America.. or so i thought..

so there i was.. in Harlem.. in Bank of America.. why i chose to go to that location is beyond me, other than being in the area.. obviously there are different standards depending on where your bank is located.. or should i say depending on how many white people you have living in that area.. don't believe, if you're here in NYC, try a big named bank in mid-town, and then one in the Bronx, Harlem or Brooklyn.. see if you don't see a difference.. for one, the mid-town ALWAYS has 10 too many bank associates at one time.. in the hood? you have 3 people manning the whole bank!! the ppl in mid-town can tell and advise you about everything.. in the hood, that chick don't even have her GED, but she can take my money and punch in wrong keys into a computer.. and the service? forget.. you can be in a hood bank for 2 hours and 18 minutes just trying to get cash out.. first you have to sift through the people who have no business trying to deposit $3.99 Publisher Clearinghouse checks.. or dude trying to convince the teller that he was just waiting for another check to come in, so that he can bring his account current.. or the dude pulling out 10's and 20's and trying to deposit into an account that's not even his name.. it's a mess..

but anyway, there i was.. i get in there and 4 ppl are waiting for a person to help them get loans, open accounts or get another loan.. my attitude immediately was expressed on my face.. there are no signs, no nothing.. i have to "spot" a sign in sheet.. so my name is placed on the list.. i sit down watching a tv that i thought had CNN on, but realized that they have a cycle of 2 minutes on a news station, followed by an 8 minute loop of the same Bank of America commercial.. so there i was watching some people sue PediEgg about them not being paid to be in tv commercials.. and her comes this Jewish white lady.. in her 60's easy.. possibly early 70's.. we're in Harlem..

she immediately turns around and mumbles something.. i give her the instant gas face.. not on purpose, but i really wasn't in the mood, nor could i hear her.. the look on my face must've scared her cuz she turned around immediately and then mumbled "the picture and the voice is not synched! ikk, i hate that!"..

pause..

first i was like "the chick just said ikk!"

un-pause..

thanks lady, i wasn't even noticing that, but now i can't get it out of my head, and i'm now as agitated as she is about it, and i've inserted "ikk" into my grown man vocabulary..

the chick gets this manager to sign her name on the list.. i guess her hands were too precious to sign it on her own.. she then convinces the dude that she was in front of 3 other people.. i walk over and look at the list and just laugh.. this chick is crazy.. all of us overhear this, but we don't say nothing.. cuz every last one of us (Black and Latino) KNEW she was going ahead of not one of us.. not that we said it collectively, but individually we all were on some "shit, let her try to go in front of me!"..

so i was the last of the 3.. so it's me and this white grandma in the lobby watching a messed up FoxNews show.. a bank teller comes out and asks what we were waiting for, to see if she could help us.. she couldn't.. she then asks if i'm next, and i say yes.. then the mrs. klause clone asks how long the one guy was going to be in the meeting he was having with a customer.. the teller wanted to tell her something, but didn't.. the white chick then demands that she go ask him.. and the teller did!! i smiled.. she comes out and says that he will be in there for awhile.. so the white chick then says "oh well, i just go to the other guy next".. yup she said "next".. i laughed.. grandma didn't know that i had a quick first step and a sharp elbow.. grandma can get it too!!

so the banker comes out and gets me.. i go in the office.. 15 seconds later.. not 3, not 5.. 15.. maybe 30 seconds later, grandma comes running and storms into the office.. out of breath she says "no, no, i'm next.. i was next.. see my name was on the list before his!".. i laugh.. and sit calmly in the seat.. again, i was one of the 3 that was like "i wish she would!!".. so i told her, no, you're mistaken.. my name is on the list before yours.. she then points to an arrow from her name about 3 people before me and how the manager did that and she didn't.. "call the manager" came next.. i laughed.. the banker asked me again, and i told him the same.. i signed up before her and was sitting there before her..

pause..

now, while this all made sense and was true.. let's think about the situation again.. 1 name, 2 name, my name, her name.. all in order going down with hers in last place.. then an arrow from her name to before the first name..

think about that..

1 name and 2 name have come and gone.. if she was before them, why was she not going into that office making a scene? why did the tellers ignore that arrow the first 2 times and go to the name that was next on the list? why is she now making a scene? chick, you have no case.. get your hubby, he'll tell you!

un-pause..

so, after we laugh, she goes and sulks in the lobby..

excuse my french, but Bitch this is still Harlem for now.. slow your roll.. "we ain't.. go-in no where.. we ain't.. going no where.. we can't be stopped now, it's Harlem!"

don't let the cracks in the image fool you!!