Catching Up..

up and down.. up and down..

nah, not a porno move or anything like that.. just more life.. life now is playing funny games.. convincing you that things are one way, when they really aren't.. thinking you're up, when really you're just in the middle.. hovering.. wading water or something.. the only thing real is that when you're down, you're officially down..

what do we have here? banks closing up and saying they don't have money..

pause..

are you kidding me? y'all don't have my money any more? please believe cats will be getting robbed if this talk keeps up..

un-pause..

citigroup just delivered more "write-down" news that didn't make me feel any better about our economy, our depression, our recession, and whatever other "ssion" they can come up with.. i don't think ppl are realizing how bad ish really is.. i was talking last week and over the weekend about this.. shoot, when rappers ain't poppin' bottles anymore, you know the game is messed up.. cuz they don't even have bank accounts.. they have the rubberbands.. and when they can carry loot w/ no band? yeah, not a good look.. people ain't going out no more.. people ain't even trying to be seen as much.. shoot, even Kanye ain't in the limelight as much.. what is going on??

the heat ain't making it no better.. this weekend it was so hot that my wardrobe was straight up and down a beater (if i was lucky) and my draws.. every time that i came out of the bedroom, Sleepy was sprawled out on the floor on some "negro can you turn on the air out here, too??!!".. see Sleepy don't know that ConEd is trippin' right now with these bills.. i conceded and turned it on, cuz shoot, at this point, ain't nothing getting paid anyway.. it is what it is..

it costs a Ben Franklin just to fill up the gas tank.. American restaurants are now providing European size dishes for NYC Friday prices (triple your normal Friday's bill if you're thinking about eating there in NYC).. cable companies are cutting off cable if they think you're going to be late.. AT&T stalks you if you are 28 minutes late paying your bill.. shoot, i went off on my mom the other week.. kinda felt bad afterwards.. sadly it was on some money stuff.. maybe she wasn't coming at me sideways, but during this time, it sure felt like it..

all the cats i know that are used to making long money are no longer making it.. we all pinching pennies, cuz we don't know when those pennies will be gone.. everything is harder.. doing good work is harder.. i never thought that would be the case.. shoot, i'm learning a lot more over the last year than any time i spent in b school.. they didn't tell me about this.. and what about ethics?? i'm struggling with that, as i'm getting hit up with more interview/media requests to talk about business stuff..

shoot, i don't want to talk about that stuff, cuz i ain't feeling that media worthy.. i won't even go further with that statement (as it relates to me).. but the stuff in the news ain't always the truth.. businesses ain't doing that well.. the numbers reported aren't right.. the stories told are skewed.. it's a mess out here.. but i understand the journalists, reporters and media outlets.. ish is depressing and ppl need to read and see brighter days and times..

shoot, i've been stuck as i'm writing my book right now as well.. i'm still in the pre-college years.. learning more about myself as i recall things.. remember things.. remember things that i wanted to forget.. it's therapeutic, and probably what is getting me through right now.. cuz i had it hard back in the day, and i ain't going back.. or so i thought.. nah, i'm playing.. i ain't going back.. no way, no how.. but these days it feels like i could.. luckily i got enough stuff to pawn off if i really needed to avoid the 'jects..

oh, and people coming at me sideways.. let's get a couple things straight.. check the resume.. South Side of Chicago.. fight history.. bully history.. check the eyes.. i'm not shook off of your words.. if you wanna come for me, come for me.. all this talk ain't nothing.. corporate bullies.. lol.. are you kidding me?? corporate bullies.. get your company and your business affairs in order before coming for my head with words that mean absolutely nothing.. my phone doesn't work for your calls.. stop trying.. my email is about to stop working for you too.. the longer it takes for me to respond to you, shows your position on the totem pole..

also, some of you dudes need to recognize who's really on your team.. i'm just sayin'..