Bad Business

ok, i've been on my blogging game recently.. i guess i got my swagger back.. whateva..

but, this is a truthful fiction story.. meaning that i won't expose names, etc, but the story is the truth.. my adlibs and jokes are fictional, but they were thoughts running through my head..

ok, so y'all know that i feel that as Black people, we have mastered the art of bad service.. i also believe that we've mastered bad business.. that includes practices, looks, methodologies, everything.. we mastered it.. that's not to say we can't or don't get it right when we want to.. some of our businesses are good.. some of our business minds are excellent.. but a lot just don't cut it..

so i was trying to get somebody to provide their sales pitch to me.. oh this was a sales pitch that was wrong from the start.. let's just say i needed a gym membership.. so i go to the spot, and i try to get them to upsell me on the membership by offering my own dedicated locker.. they have stuff that come with them.. so i go in there and ask the dude to give me the pitch.. dude is confused.. you would've thought that i asked him to give me all of his banking information or something, cuz dude was lost.. after 3 tries, he understood.. so here he goes..

he tells me that with the membership and locker, i get a discount on things that i buy there.. that's cool, but keep in mind that i don't buy nothing there.. nothing is of use to me there.. the shirts are from 1988.. they don't even fit me.. shrunk down to the size of Midget Mac or something.. then he tells me that when Nike comes in to do presentations, that they often leave him with empty boxes for Nike.. told me that he can give me a couple of those empty boxes so that i can put my own non-Nike shoes in them.. ridiculous.. so he's 0-for-2 right now with these "perks"..

then he tells me that they are considering giving people the opportunity to not only hand in comment cards to reflect on my membership experience, but that i will also have the opportunity to tell it to their faces, cuz they want to smell my breath.. yea, didn't make sense to me either.. i mean, i can just tell them that any time.. why do i have to wait for a special meeting? how do you know that i care enough? can't a brother just get a locker and go about his business? i just don't feel like bring my toiletries and stuff every dang time.. that's all a brother wanted..

the next part was payment.. see, supposedly the cost went up for the lockers.. but then others told me how much they were paying.. but the dude told me a different cost.. so i had to address that.. and it was addressed with no problem.. i could get the lockers for the same cost as others did.. no ish, sherlock.. then i could pay over time.. or i could pay it all in advance..

pause..

i don't know about y'all, but i ain't paying for nothing in full if i ain't getting everything at that time.. payment plans work for me.. plus, this gym might close next month, and my membership lasts for a year.. what good is a membership that ain't valid?

un-pause..

so here i am, making this dude sweat.. it's hotter than Africa in this piece, so that didn't take much.. his sales pitch was going down faster than Richard Simmons.. i'm just saying.. i was getting frustrated listening.. with my patience fried, i started to help out.. i re-did his sales pitch.. told him how he probably should come at other people for this membership and locker.. and my last parting shot was just to tell him that next month, i'd like for him to try it on me again.. for now, i'll just bring my toiletries..

so people, get your game together.. don't say you're a marketer, and then come up with the wackest idea ever.. don't say you're a business dude but have never heard of "sales pitch".. i mean it happens, but don't make it so obvious.. we all have our days.. our moments.. shoot, i recall one of the best moments at my business.. some chick gave one of the worst ideas ever.. i mean ever.. and did it like she was Billy Clinton or something.. hand gestures, facial expressions, everything.. the only thing that saved her from the ridicule was that the client was there, and they found her VERY attractive.. that's it.. she was lucky.. but she never was in with another client.. and truth be told, she wasn't working w/ us for too much longer.. shoot, i was people's boss, and i couldn't even get them to work with her.. i think they would rather have quit than to have to deal with her.. so we all have our days, our moments.. but even in those moments, you can separate the real from the fake..

step your game up.. please..

i'm just sayin'..

Babies Making Babies..

a damn shame..

WE GOTTA DO BETTA!

i'm sick of y'all..

Lookie Here..

talent.. gotta love it.. click the image.. or cut and paste the url below..

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhhGOSyg5DxM2w0B4y

Democratic Nerd Convention..

for the first time that i can remember, i spent dang near an hour watching the Democratic National Convention.. if this isn't a Nerd Ball, i don't know what is.. i sat there trying to ignore and listen to the commentators (bored me dang near to death), look at these people who appeared to be having the time of their lives (which i couldn't understand, cuz absolutely nothing was going on in between speeches), and wait for Michelle Obama to speak..

that was it for me.. i just wanted to hear her speak..

so there i was, trying to listen and understand.. each moment that passed, i got more upset at the fact that i was getting lied to about when Michelle would come up.. i was also getting more upset because i just didn't understand why these people didn't seem to have a life.. why this event was so major to them.. i mean, this year brings some historical value, as we have the first Black man leading the charge.. this is something even Joe Biden is coming to grips with.. like "damn, it's really come to this? i worked my entire life just to take orders from a Black man?".. that ish had to hurt!!

but i watched everything from the looks, the outfits, the ages.. everything.. this is a Nerd Ball.. nothing short of one.. i've never been to one, but i can imagine that in my dreams, what i saw last night is what i would expect to see at a Nerd Ball.. manners kinda off.. badly dressed individuals.. conversations about the same dang thing.. some bad speakers.. everything..

pardon me, but the Kennedy thing was qute for a split second and that's it.. dude's elbow and hand kept messing w/ me.. like it was from years of being hit w/ a switch on some "keep it up this high, not that low!!".. "curve your hand like this, not like that!".. it was horrible.. then seeing him shake.. yeah, i was done.. it's wrong.. dude had a brain tumor.. i get it.. but dang, if you get paraded up there, then you can get talked about.. i talked about Ali when he about lit all of Atlanta on fire by handling the torch at the 1996 Olympics, and i'll talk about this dude.. and his speech? man, i was nodding off.. Great Grand Dad done had it.. let him go..

Michelle, it was just impressive to watch you speak like a proud Black woman.. i appreciated that.. i think i was expecting more, but i'll take what i can get.. you repped the South Side of Chicago easily and frequently.. much love for that.. i sat there saying that 2 people that have lived on the South Side of Chicago are about to be Mr. & Mrs. President.. that ish is messing w/ me.. and for the first time (actually, 2nd, cuz i gave Hillary respect), i feel like the woman in the White House is a great equal to the man in the White House.. Michelle is bad.. stumbles and all..

but your kids? come on, y'all had to keep it too real.. Barack crashing the party from some other people's home.. then gonna show up on a video.. how Black is that?? then is speaking directly to his wife and kids.. having his kids interrupt him (please resend the baby daughter the memo).. having the oldest stand right in front of the screen, knowing Michelle wanted to snatch her back and say "is your Daddy a window maker?".. it was just some classic Black people stuff.. Barack was stumbling around with his words, cuz he was like "damn, i guess we are Black!".. white people didn't know what to do or say, cuz that man was literally their boss.. it was all classic material..

a Nerd Ball it definitely was.. i can honestly say that the DNC is far from being included on my to-do list..

i'm just sayin'..

Redeem Team..

so we saw.. dudes did their thing.. so my question is this:

what happens to this team now?

i mean, we know about the 3 years of playing together.. do they stay together now? are they playing in the tournaments each summer? are they practicing in the off-season? i'm not sure people thought about this..

i love the thought of them killing the rest of the world, but i'm also happy that no Bulls players are on this team.. cuz not being able to rest could shorten the careers of some of these dudes..

i'm just sayin'..

Baby Powder Awards - 08/08

i'm sorry.. i had to do it.. i had to bring these back.. The Baby Powder Awards.. i initiated this on Troubl's blog site earlier this year, but i need to bring them back home.. need to start slapping more people.. as a review, The Baby Powder Awards are given to those individuals who need "hot fire" slapped out of them.. i'm willing to do the slapping.. i just need my baby powder so that my hand can get through the sting of the continuous slapping that's about to commence..

1. George Bush, Jr.
• Just because..
2. Fox News
• For being too blatant with your media power.. Do some research.. Get people's names right.. I mean, Ill Doctorine did a piece which was a take off of Soulja Boy (political piece), and you actually put it on your news and said that it WAS Soulja Boy.. come on now.. You never came back telling ppl you made a mistake, and that it wasn't Soulja Boy, you just let it keep going..
  
3. John McCain
• Just because you look like you smell like an old folk's home.. i'm just sayin'..
4. Scorpion King 2 Staff
• i'm blaming all of you for putting out that wack ass movie.. really? i mean, how are you going to name the PREQUEL to Scorpion King, Scorpion King 2? that's just backwards.. then how are you going to trick me into believing it would be as good as Scorpion King or The Mummy, so i wasted a Netflix spot for you?? then, how you gon' put those bad as actors in there?? i'm mad.. bitchassness.. for real..
5. TV Show Competition Voters
• i might need to smack myself for watching and not voting, but that's besides the point.. on shows like American Idol (which i don't watch beyond the prelims anymore), America's Best Dance Crew, etc, there is a lack of intelligence.. a serious lack of it.. i mean the best get voted off too early.. consistently.. producers, judges, stop blaming America.. we are stupid.. we are led by an idiot.. what do you expect from those that watch? they follow their leader.. they don't know how to vote.. they don't know how to judge talent.. if they did, they'd have your job.. stop leaving it in their hands.. rig the damn votes for crying out loud..
  
6. Jamie Foxx
• you knew damn well them dudes wasn't G's.. i'm just sayin', fam, i'm just sayin'..
7. Jay-Z
• for being on the cover of the new Vibe with that Louis scarf on.. fam, you know that's like last summer's fashion.. Louis or not.. my man L was rocking that style for the last 3 years.. shit ain't timeless..
  
8. Recession
• because i ain't living how i was last year.. because i can't get paid like i should.. because it's hard out here for a pimp..

bitch niggas..

The Man..

i've pretty much stayed away from talking about Barack.. with everyone trying to make anyone who is siding with him a reason not to vote for him, i didn't want to be another Ludacris.. i'll come clean and say that i'm honored to know this dude.. to know him before all of this President stuff.. he lives around the corner from my Pop-Pop.. has attended my church.. shoot, he's in our family photos.. one of his mentors is the daughter of one of my mentors.. i have a couple autographed books from him.. books i still haven't read.. i'm bad, i know.. but that's my disclaimer..

so yea, i'm for this dude.. been in his corner, cuz he was in mine before he knew much about me.. Chicago love.. that's what i call it..

but this picture i snagged from today's NY Times.. it was fitting.. it puts in perspective the pull he has on people.. young, old.. white, Chinese.. doesn't matter.. the dude moves us.. and i know we don't need a glorified coach or public speaker to lead our country, but he's more than that.. yes, "he speaks so well".. so can i.. so can many of you.. so let's build that bridge and get the hell over it.. that ain't what he's about.. (yup, i said ain't right after i said i can "speak so well").. the dude just makes sense.. which is hard to find nowadays.. do your research.. not what the media puts out.. not the sly Fox's of the world.. do your own research..

whether it's his take on the gas and whether to dig or not to dig.. or his take on the war.. or health care.. or the economy.. or education.. whatever it is, do your own research.. you might be surprised at what you find..

but let's not get it twisted.. what's wrong with being popular (like that McCain ad tried to poke fun at)? really? what's wrong with so many people wanting to be on your side and wanting to support you? what's wrong with the fact that other countries have already come out and said that they would have a newfound respect for the US if we elect Barack? what's wrong with having a smooth dresser and athlete in the White House? can anyone deny the fact that if we see Barack in that position, then it would have a lot more kids actually wanting (and believing) to become the President? probably more than an NBA player.. what's wrong with that? what's wrong with all of the excitement this man brings to an area that no one really cared about in years past?

i just don't get it.. i mean, i do, but my mind goes back to it being a matter of race.. which i don't really want to cry about, but it gets harder.. i'm sick of hearing about how this or that becomes racism.. especially when minorities are not the ones screaming it.. it's like that one Vanity Fair (or whatever magazine that was that i don't read) that had LeBron on it with that one white actress.. immediately the press made a big deal out of it saying that it's racism, cuz LeBron was being portrayed as King Kong or some other beast trying to snatch a white woman..

really?

was i really thinking that before you said it? it never crossed my mind, and i was (and still am) upset that the media ran with that.. Black ppl didn't come out to say that.. we didn't immediately scream racism.. we saw LeBron as LeBron on that cover.. not some gorilla.. there was no "G-Unit" call or anything like that.. if anything, i can see it as some "move over, i'm here now".. but they do that with Barack, too.. somehow bringing race into a discussion that doesn't need it.. now that's not to say that there isn't a bit of that going around, cuz it is.. it's actually a lot of it.. but not in every dang case.. some times it's just pure hate.. point blank..

but i'm excited about this.. because i believe he's our next President.. i believe it just as much as seeing Usain Bolt crush the 200 and break a record i never thought would be broken.. i believe it, cuz it's needed, too.. we need a change.. i don't want to bite on his stuff, but it's the truth.. nothing is going to change immediately, but i hope and pray that he'll have 8 years to start to right the ship.. the first 4 years will be hard, because there is too much stuff to undo.. but i believe in his mission.. and i believe that when it's all said and done, i'll be able to say that i have a friend in the White House.. i believe you will too.. cuz i honestly believe Barack is a friend to all of us..